Lessons Learned from a Recent Audition

A few weeks ago I did something fairly normal for us bassists, but which I did not expect to do during my several month trip to Thailand, which was take an orchestra audition.  Even stranger for me was that I learned about the audition and decided to play in it less than a month before the audition date. 

I had gotten used to the process of American orchestras, where you check musicalchairs and start working on a list well in advance, taking lessons and playing for colleagues or other people who make you nervous as you prepare for weeks and weeks.  This isn’t the standard for everywhere in the world, however, and as I have been seeing a lot since finishing school, if you want opportunities sometimes you have to look for them creatively and then you just have to go for it.  

This audition was for a substitute position with the Malaysia Philharmonic, which I only learned about because of a strange series of circumstances:

1. I happened to take a long weekend trip to Kuala Lumpur because, in order to get a visa to stay in Thailand as long as I wanted to, I had to book a trip out of the country for some point during my stay and Kuala Lumpur was the cheapest flight.

2. My boyfriend had heard that Kuala Lumpur had a decent orchestra, so we looked it up, realized they were playing a concert while we were there and got tickets.

3. While buying tickets on the orchestras website, we got curious, wound up on their audition page, and realized that they were holding substitute auditions in a month and thought, “Oh, too bad we’re not going to be in Southeast Asia for long enough that it’s worth it to try to sub with them.”

4. Went to the concert, were blown away by the orchestra AND upon sitting down saw that the principal second violinist was a girl who we had gone to Yale with.

5. After the concert, talked to the violinist and learned that the orchestra uses a lot of substitutes, and, because they’re funded by the Petronas Energy Company (of the Petronas Towers where the orchestra performs), has the money to fly people in to sub with them. 

6. The next day submitted an online application for the audition an hour before the deadline and about 3 weeks before the audition date. 

Lessons learned:

-       There are orchestras that you’ve never heard of that sound awesome. 

Malaysia Phil, with Barbora Kolarova,
a classmate from Yale, sitting principal 2nd

-       The music world is SO SMALL!  You never know when you’ll run into someone you know, even on the other side of the world.

-       Not all orchestras function the same way. Especially if you want to take auditions outside the US, you have to look hard to find them, and they may not work the way you expect them to. 

Thus began several weeks of frantic audition preparations.  Fortunately, the list was small and it was all standard rep.  Unfortunately and completely my fault, I had let myself get lazy in my time out of school and was not in great playing shape.  And to further that, I was playing on the Chinese factory bass that I played in high school, and didn’t think I could have a chance at being competitive with it, even in the best circumstances.

During my audition preparations, there were some things I had to do differently than I usually would because I was out of shape and had limited time.  Mainly, practice technique. And repeatedly promise myself that I won’t get stuck in this position in the future. 

There are also some fairly standard things that I’ve done before to prepare for an audition that I did again, although many not as diligently as I should have:

1. Set a timeline of small goals leading up to the audition to make sure I stay on schedule (aka with tempos, parts comfortable of concertos, etc).  I didn’t formally write this out because the list was so small, but usually I would, and I should have this time too.

2. Record myself and take notes.  Again, did not do this as often as I should have.

3. Play mock auditions for people who scare you.  And do them before you feel ready to (do you ever really feel ready? I for sure don’t). This was the most challenging to set up because I have been living completely outside of a musical community.  I played one or two mock auditions for my boyfriend, but I should have also sent videos to people and asked for feedback or played for people on skype.  Even if the connection isn’t perfect, it can still do a good job of making you nervous. 

4. Practice being focused.  Especially in the week leading up to the audition, I try to take time before playing each excerpt to imagine being in the audition, getting nervous and then settling my brain before playing.  It sounds like a tedious waste of time, but this has proved completely necessary for me.

Lessons learned: Despite not having taken tons of auditions, I actually have an idea of what I should be doing to prepare for one! The greater problem is shutting up and doing it. 

- The biggest thing to not be lazy about is playing for people. During the audition I was more nervous than I have been in a long time, and I REALLY wished I had set up more mock auditions.

And then there are the preparations that don’t have to do with your instrument:

1. Travel - I planned to travel to Kuala Lumpur a few days ahead of the audition to make sure I would be relaxed there, and of course if you’re traveling for an audition, you might as well make a mini-vacation out of it! 

2. Where to stay - I found an AirBnB on the same metro-line as the hall (especially important to think about location when you have a bass), and, because my boyfriend was also auditioning for a sub spot (they had several instruments open), found an AirBnB with a separate living room, not just a studio, so that we would both be able to practice. 

3. Get off of caffeine.  I know this sounds crazy when you have a lot of work to do, but it’s proved necessary for me, both to control my nerves during the audition itself and to limit my anxiety in the week leading up to it.  Two weeks before, I start weaning myself off of coffee.  It’s proof that I should probably never have caffeine, but I just love coffee.  What can I do? 

Lessons learned: These outside things really do make a difference for me.   Take control of the things you can so that the things that you can’t control are less stressful. 

All in all, this was a fairly positive experience for me!  

1. I got good feedback from the principal bassist, and although I haven’t heard results from the orchestra yet, it was still a good opportunity to make a new contact. 

2. I forced myself to get back in shape and practice, and quickly!

3. I realized how quickly I can throw something together if I really want to, and was reminded of the importance of being prepared even when you don’t think you have anything coming up. 

Lessons learned: Once again, go for it, even when you don’t think you’re ready. I was surprised by a lot of things in this entire process, including myself, and because of that I feel more ready for whatever’s coming next, even though I don’t know what that is. 

The hall where the auditions were held,
not intimidating at all... 

Petronas Towers, home of the Malaysia Phil.

How your body applies to your playing (and vice versa)

Hey all, I apologize for the lack of updates lately. The bad news is I haven't been feeling too well for the past month and a half. The good news is that I know exactly why, and it applies to my playing, so I figured that would be a good topic to bring up.

I discovered that I have TMJ (colloquially known as Temporomandibular joint dysfunction) which is the swelling of the joint that connects the jawbone to the skull. A typical cause of TMJ is grinding your teeth together, often while asleep or involuntarily. This leads to a lot of different symptoms: headaches, pressure behind the eyes and in the ears, dizziness, lack of sleep, ringing in the ears, and trouble moving the jaw.  I could speculate for hours where this came from for me - stress, sleep habits, karate training from years ago finally catching up - but I do know one cause for certain without the diagnosis from a doctor, only because I feel it: playing my instrument. 

How you handle your body affects how you play your instrument, and how you play your instrument affects how you do anything else in life. People usually don't think much about how they use their body when they sit, while they walk, while they eat, sleep, use their computers, read, or do any other task, mostly because it doesn't require much body movement at all. They might bend their backs too much, or lean in while watching a TV show, or put unnecessary pressure on their arms while lying down, use the wrong muscles in exercise, etc. - and let me tell you right now that I am no stranger to these habits. It's the kind of thing that we would eventually notice once we've been doing it too long; I notice that when I stop such an activity and the pressure releases, I realize that I've been hurting myself for the past few minutes, or even hours. Now, I would definitely forget about that within a few minutes and think "I just won't do that again, that weirdly hurt", but the problem with that is, how often am I messing with my posture, and how much does it add up?

Unfortunately, I haven't done the scientific research to answer that, but based on my own experience (and that of colleagues), it can add up quite a bit. Muscles don't heal quite as quickly as people think they do, and repetitive minor strain on a muscle slowly becomes major strain, since the muscle isn't given enough time to relax and fully heal. That strain, combined with the repetitive motion of playing your instrument, could be harmful. Practicing too long and with too much unnecessary strain is certainly harmful, but not giving your body the proper rest is what can exacerbate the pain.

This is where the jaw pain came in for me. I noticed that I would grind my teeth together considerably while I played, and that caused some serious tension throughout the rest of my body as well. I've dealt with shoulder pain, tension in the hand, back issues, all the standard bass playing problem spots; but never, before last month, to the point where my daily life and mood were affected by the tension I was feeling. I had made grinding my teeth such a habit that I was doing it involuntarily, especially in moments of stress, and I would get headaches several times a day. I didn't discover this until I saw several doctors and an ENT (Ear Nose and Throat specialist) thinking that I had a chronic sinus infection, but my ENT was quickly able to diagnose the problem, since it was evident that I had no sinus infection (or anything else for that matter) after an x-ray.

When you think about it, you are really the instrument, and you happen to use a device to express your body movements. When you're damaged, your playing is damaged. This was a hard pill to swallow for me. With auditions coming up and my career basically starting, I already had enough stressors dragging me down. To have my playing affected by this had me in quite a slump. However, perseverance is key to any success! I managed to take a step back and analyze my habits and practice technique, in addition to following doctor's orders on treating my jaw. Now more than ever, the phrase "quality over quantity" rings true to my practice. I clock in some good time still, but long gone are my 6 hour days.

In addition to knowing my limits, I found it to be more productive to come up with positive remarks regarding my habits. For example, "don't tense up your left hand" becomes "relax your left hand, and let the fingers fall into place." My personal favorite at the moment is "you play in tune when you relax your jaw," as opposed to, "don't tighten your jaw." The negative remarks tend to make me more anxious since I'm focusing on what I'm doing wrong, not what I could be doing right. These techniques apply in performance as well, and have helped me get over the ever-familiar performance anxiety. It's easier to think "I always have trouble playing this" in performance, but it feels much better when that thought is "I'm going to nail this" and you do it! And if you don't, it doesn't make that much of a difference.

Although these tips I offered are based on my observation of peers and speculation from my own habits, but many of them are backed by scientists and specialists. I have to refer to the link Ivy provided in her previous post, "The Bulletproof Musician," where Dr. Noa Kageyama, a professional violinist and a doctor of psychology, explains tried and true techniques and behavior adjustments to overcome performance anxiety, and many of them have to do with how we handle our bodies. In addition, any resource or study on the Alexander Technique would also be beneficial (I have been reading "The Alexander Technique for Musicians" by Judith Kleinman and Peter Buckoke - this book delves into how to balance your body and use it in the most efficient way possible as much as possible).

I swear I'm doing some other things, and you'll hear from me again in the not-so-distant future. Stay happy and healthy, and take care of yourselves!