Lessons Learned from a Recent Audition

A few weeks ago I did something fairly normal for us bassists, but which I did not expect to do during my several month trip to Thailand, which was take an orchestra audition.  Even stranger for me was that I learned about the audition and decided to play in it less than a month before the audition date. 

I had gotten used to the process of American orchestras, where you check musicalchairs and start working on a list well in advance, taking lessons and playing for colleagues or other people who make you nervous as you prepare for weeks and weeks.  This isn’t the standard for everywhere in the world, however, and as I have been seeing a lot since finishing school, if you want opportunities sometimes you have to look for them creatively and then you just have to go for it.  

This audition was for a substitute position with the Malaysia Philharmonic, which I only learned about because of a strange series of circumstances:

1. I happened to take a long weekend trip to Kuala Lumpur because, in order to get a visa to stay in Thailand as long as I wanted to, I had to book a trip out of the country for some point during my stay and Kuala Lumpur was the cheapest flight.

2. My boyfriend had heard that Kuala Lumpur had a decent orchestra, so we looked it up, realized they were playing a concert while we were there and got tickets.

3. While buying tickets on the orchestras website, we got curious, wound up on their audition page, and realized that they were holding substitute auditions in a month and thought, “Oh, too bad we’re not going to be in Southeast Asia for long enough that it’s worth it to try to sub with them.”

4. Went to the concert, were blown away by the orchestra AND upon sitting down saw that the principal second violinist was a girl who we had gone to Yale with.

5. After the concert, talked to the violinist and learned that the orchestra uses a lot of substitutes, and, because they’re funded by the Petronas Energy Company (of the Petronas Towers where the orchestra performs), has the money to fly people in to sub with them. 

6. The next day submitted an online application for the audition an hour before the deadline and about 3 weeks before the audition date. 

Lessons learned:

-       There are orchestras that you’ve never heard of that sound awesome. 

Malaysia Phil, with Barbora Kolarova,
a classmate from Yale, sitting principal 2nd

-       The music world is SO SMALL!  You never know when you’ll run into someone you know, even on the other side of the world.

-       Not all orchestras function the same way. Especially if you want to take auditions outside the US, you have to look hard to find them, and they may not work the way you expect them to. 

Thus began several weeks of frantic audition preparations.  Fortunately, the list was small and it was all standard rep.  Unfortunately and completely my fault, I had let myself get lazy in my time out of school and was not in great playing shape.  And to further that, I was playing on the Chinese factory bass that I played in high school, and didn’t think I could have a chance at being competitive with it, even in the best circumstances.

During my audition preparations, there were some things I had to do differently than I usually would because I was out of shape and had limited time.  Mainly, practice technique. And repeatedly promise myself that I won’t get stuck in this position in the future. 

There are also some fairly standard things that I’ve done before to prepare for an audition that I did again, although many not as diligently as I should have:

1. Set a timeline of small goals leading up to the audition to make sure I stay on schedule (aka with tempos, parts comfortable of concertos, etc).  I didn’t formally write this out because the list was so small, but usually I would, and I should have this time too.

2. Record myself and take notes.  Again, did not do this as often as I should have.

3. Play mock auditions for people who scare you.  And do them before you feel ready to (do you ever really feel ready? I for sure don’t). This was the most challenging to set up because I have been living completely outside of a musical community.  I played one or two mock auditions for my boyfriend, but I should have also sent videos to people and asked for feedback or played for people on skype.  Even if the connection isn’t perfect, it can still do a good job of making you nervous. 

4. Practice being focused.  Especially in the week leading up to the audition, I try to take time before playing each excerpt to imagine being in the audition, getting nervous and then settling my brain before playing.  It sounds like a tedious waste of time, but this has proved completely necessary for me.

Lessons learned: Despite not having taken tons of auditions, I actually have an idea of what I should be doing to prepare for one! The greater problem is shutting up and doing it. 

- The biggest thing to not be lazy about is playing for people. During the audition I was more nervous than I have been in a long time, and I REALLY wished I had set up more mock auditions.

And then there are the preparations that don’t have to do with your instrument:

1. Travel - I planned to travel to Kuala Lumpur a few days ahead of the audition to make sure I would be relaxed there, and of course if you’re traveling for an audition, you might as well make a mini-vacation out of it! 

2. Where to stay - I found an AirBnB on the same metro-line as the hall (especially important to think about location when you have a bass), and, because my boyfriend was also auditioning for a sub spot (they had several instruments open), found an AirBnB with a separate living room, not just a studio, so that we would both be able to practice. 

3. Get off of caffeine.  I know this sounds crazy when you have a lot of work to do, but it’s proved necessary for me, both to control my nerves during the audition itself and to limit my anxiety in the week leading up to it.  Two weeks before, I start weaning myself off of coffee.  It’s proof that I should probably never have caffeine, but I just love coffee.  What can I do? 

Lessons learned: These outside things really do make a difference for me.   Take control of the things you can so that the things that you can’t control are less stressful. 

All in all, this was a fairly positive experience for me!  

1. I got good feedback from the principal bassist, and although I haven’t heard results from the orchestra yet, it was still a good opportunity to make a new contact. 

2. I forced myself to get back in shape and practice, and quickly!

3. I realized how quickly I can throw something together if I really want to, and was reminded of the importance of being prepared even when you don’t think you have anything coming up. 

Lessons learned: Once again, go for it, even when you don’t think you’re ready. I was surprised by a lot of things in this entire process, including myself, and because of that I feel more ready for whatever’s coming next, even though I don’t know what that is. 

The hall where the auditions were held,
not intimidating at all... 

Petronas Towers, home of the Malaysia Phil.

How your body applies to your playing (and vice versa)

Hey all, I apologize for the lack of updates lately. The bad news is I haven't been feeling too well for the past month and a half. The good news is that I know exactly why, and it applies to my playing, so I figured that would be a good topic to bring up.

I discovered that I have TMJ (colloquially known as Temporomandibular joint dysfunction) which is the swelling of the joint that connects the jawbone to the skull. A typical cause of TMJ is grinding your teeth together, often while asleep or involuntarily. This leads to a lot of different symptoms: headaches, pressure behind the eyes and in the ears, dizziness, lack of sleep, ringing in the ears, and trouble moving the jaw.  I could speculate for hours where this came from for me - stress, sleep habits, karate training from years ago finally catching up - but I do know one cause for certain without the diagnosis from a doctor, only because I feel it: playing my instrument. 

How you handle your body affects how you play your instrument, and how you play your instrument affects how you do anything else in life. People usually don't think much about how they use their body when they sit, while they walk, while they eat, sleep, use their computers, read, or do any other task, mostly because it doesn't require much body movement at all. They might bend their backs too much, or lean in while watching a TV show, or put unnecessary pressure on their arms while lying down, use the wrong muscles in exercise, etc. - and let me tell you right now that I am no stranger to these habits. It's the kind of thing that we would eventually notice once we've been doing it too long; I notice that when I stop such an activity and the pressure releases, I realize that I've been hurting myself for the past few minutes, or even hours. Now, I would definitely forget about that within a few minutes and think "I just won't do that again, that weirdly hurt", but the problem with that is, how often am I messing with my posture, and how much does it add up?

Unfortunately, I haven't done the scientific research to answer that, but based on my own experience (and that of colleagues), it can add up quite a bit. Muscles don't heal quite as quickly as people think they do, and repetitive minor strain on a muscle slowly becomes major strain, since the muscle isn't given enough time to relax and fully heal. That strain, combined with the repetitive motion of playing your instrument, could be harmful. Practicing too long and with too much unnecessary strain is certainly harmful, but not giving your body the proper rest is what can exacerbate the pain.

This is where the jaw pain came in for me. I noticed that I would grind my teeth together considerably while I played, and that caused some serious tension throughout the rest of my body as well. I've dealt with shoulder pain, tension in the hand, back issues, all the standard bass playing problem spots; but never, before last month, to the point where my daily life and mood were affected by the tension I was feeling. I had made grinding my teeth such a habit that I was doing it involuntarily, especially in moments of stress, and I would get headaches several times a day. I didn't discover this until I saw several doctors and an ENT (Ear Nose and Throat specialist) thinking that I had a chronic sinus infection, but my ENT was quickly able to diagnose the problem, since it was evident that I had no sinus infection (or anything else for that matter) after an x-ray.

When you think about it, you are really the instrument, and you happen to use a device to express your body movements. When you're damaged, your playing is damaged. This was a hard pill to swallow for me. With auditions coming up and my career basically starting, I already had enough stressors dragging me down. To have my playing affected by this had me in quite a slump. However, perseverance is key to any success! I managed to take a step back and analyze my habits and practice technique, in addition to following doctor's orders on treating my jaw. Now more than ever, the phrase "quality over quantity" rings true to my practice. I clock in some good time still, but long gone are my 6 hour days.

In addition to knowing my limits, I found it to be more productive to come up with positive remarks regarding my habits. For example, "don't tense up your left hand" becomes "relax your left hand, and let the fingers fall into place." My personal favorite at the moment is "you play in tune when you relax your jaw," as opposed to, "don't tighten your jaw." The negative remarks tend to make me more anxious since I'm focusing on what I'm doing wrong, not what I could be doing right. These techniques apply in performance as well, and have helped me get over the ever-familiar performance anxiety. It's easier to think "I always have trouble playing this" in performance, but it feels much better when that thought is "I'm going to nail this" and you do it! And if you don't, it doesn't make that much of a difference.

Although these tips I offered are based on my observation of peers and speculation from my own habits, but many of them are backed by scientists and specialists. I have to refer to the link Ivy provided in her previous post, "The Bulletproof Musician," where Dr. Noa Kageyama, a professional violinist and a doctor of psychology, explains tried and true techniques and behavior adjustments to overcome performance anxiety, and many of them have to do with how we handle our bodies. In addition, any resource or study on the Alexander Technique would also be beneficial (I have been reading "The Alexander Technique for Musicians" by Judith Kleinman and Peter Buckoke - this book delves into how to balance your body and use it in the most efficient way possible as much as possible).

I swear I'm doing some other things, and you'll hear from me again in the not-so-distant future. Stay happy and healthy, and take care of yourselves!

A vision of peace from the Eastern Hemisphere

I know I haven't posted in a while, and I feel the need to apologize because this is probably not the kind of post you expect to see on a blog that claims to be about the bass.  Current world events are too prevalent to ignore, however, and I think everyone has some feelings to share.  

Wat Buppharam 

As can be expected, the month and a half that I have spent so far in a continent that I had never even visited before has exposed me to an uncountable number of new things and ideas, from greeting people with a bow to public transportation in converted pick-up trucks called Songtaos to toilets that come complete with a hose but no toilet paper.  One of the most impressionable differences to me, however, have been the different religions.  Although I was raised to be openminded and tolerant, during my childhood in the suburbs of Baltimore I knew very few people who weren't either Christian or Jewish.  Now on the other side of the world, it's eye-opening and refreshing to be in the minority and I've greatly enjoyed Chiang Mai where I've visited countless Buddhist temples and recently attended a Bahai community celebration.  

A recent 4-day trip to Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, however, proved to be even more eye-opening.  Kuala Lumpur is made up of an amazing mix of local Malay, Chinese, South Indian, and Middle Eastern people, and those are just the clear majorities.  On my short trip I visited a Chinese Buddhist temple and a Catholic Church; I climbed 272 steps covered with monkeys to enter a Hindu temple; and I donned a hijab to enter a Mosque. The sidewalks are made colorful by different types of faces and head coverings, and though I'm sure that Kuala Lumpur, like any city, has it's problems, this amazing mix of people seem to coexist in peace.  

National Mosque in KL

As tensions are high in the world right now, and I'm expecting that they'll grow for a while before they begin to ease again, it's becoming more important for us to remember that people are people, and that it's our responsibility as one of those people to celebrate our differences and to work together for peace.  An orchestra is a great example.  Every musician shares the common goal of creating the most effective music possible, but players of different instruments have different ideas of how to best serve that purpose.  A trumpet player would not start an argument with a violist saying that the trumpet is the best way and only way to create music.  Instead, we practice our instruments to the best of our ability on our own, and then we come share our abilities with in an orchestra in order to create something greater.  We take turns having the melody and backing off to fill in other roles, and we recognize that each instrument has a unique and beautiful sound.  

This past summer I taught at Peabody Bass Works, which included 80 bassists in one building for one solid week, and at the end we played a concert with a "bass orchestra" of nothing but double bassists.  It was truly an awesome experience to share a stage with 80 other bassists, and I thoroughly enjoyed spending the week discussing my chosen way of making music with others who have chosen the same medium.  Despite this, I would never show a video of that concert to a violinist friend and say, "See, this is the right way to make music!  You guys are doing it all wrong, and you'll never achieve the highest level of music making!" 


As I write this, I realize that it's probably redundant to anyone reading it.  You are probably very tolerant and progressive minded and maybe you agreed with everything I've said before you read this.  And I bet most people you know or talk to on a regular basis have the same open-minded views. So the question is, what can we do to share these ideas to those who can't see them?  

One response, which I love and which every musician has heard is Leonard Bernstein's answer, "This will be our reply to violence: to make music more intensely, more beautifully, more devotedly than ever before."  

My current response, which was part of the advice that Joe Biden gave this past year's graduating class from Yale, is to quit your sphere.  So all of your friends are complaining about the state of intolerance in the same way?  Find a way to talk to someone who disagrees and work to open them up to the world. Travel, maybe just to a different neighborhood, and present yourself to someone who has never known anyone like you.  So there are parts of the world who have a negative view of Americans or whatever stereotype you fit into?  Go there or talk to someone from there and get to know them.  Remind them that people are people (even us obnoxious Americans) and give them a reason to rethink what they have been brought to believe.  You don't have to seek to change their life, you just have to be their friend.  

So this is difficult or uncomfortable?  Too bad!  You'll be amazed what you can do once you start pushing your boundaries.  The more I surprise myself, the less easily surprised I am, and the more confidence I have.  Three years ago, the first time several times I taught a bass class in very poor Spanish, I thought going in that I had no idea what I was doing, and that I wasn't ready.  But when I jumped in, I started to learn what I could do when I didn't think I was ready.  And then when I went back to school and prepared a recital that of course I didn't feel ready for (because who ever really does?), I at least had faith in myself to pull something off that I didn't know I was ready for.  

With my bass in a Songtao

In my time in Chiang Mai, I have not found a musical community to grow in, and to confess, I have not made as much progress personally on the bass as I was hoping to by this point, but I definitely have been pushing my boundaries, and I think that will reflect in my playing.  I have taught English classes, which I never expected that I could do, and I have struggled with the language barrier and have ordered dishes that I couldn't identify until they were on my plate.  I can bargain with a Songtao driver, and last week I sang along to a Macklemore song with one of the teenagers who I'm tutoring in English.  I have an audition next week, back in the awesome city of Kuala Lumpur, and although I definitely don't feel ready right now, I am confident that it's worth it for me to go for something I'm not sure I'm ready for.  

So I apologize for being cheesy or preachy, but this is my vision for the world as we grieve the latest acts of violence and protest the intolerance we see.  Take the time to quit your sphere and celebrate the diversity in your personal world.  It may not seem like much, but hopefully, like the members of an orchestra, we can improve one by one and then come together, and in doing so we can build something greater and more beautiful than ourselves.  

The First Month

    I've been teaching at my job for about a month now and there's been ups and downs all over the place, but I think I'm finally starting to get the hang of things. Here are some things that I think other people that are thinking of teaching music in a public school system might want to know.

1.    I think the one thing I have learned that I cannot recommend more is to always ask the other music teachers in the district first. 

    This rule of thumb pertains to just about any question that you might be able to think of including: 

• What is the curriculum? 
• What do you mean there's no curriculum? 
• What do I do about instrument repairs? 
• What do I do about scheduling performances? 
• What about healthcare? 

    All these questions might seem best answered by specialists in the district, but ten out of ten times, I would bet that the other music teachers in your district have found more effective and efficient ways of accomplishing same things. Let's take the curriculum example first. When I started my job, I wanted to know what my curriculum was going to be before I started teaching (seems sensible right?) so I asked the district and was told that there was no curriculum. What?! That's about the equivalent of a quarter-back trying to call plays from a playbook that doesn't exist. In a panic I contacted my principals to see if there was some sort of curriculum left by my predecessor that they might have gotten a copy of, but was often left with a blank stare and questions like "Does music even need a curriculum?" 

    Don't get me wrong I love my administrators. They've been nothing but supportive of the music programs and welcoming to me as a new teacher. It scares me a bit how little they know about the program though and I just hope that I will be able to talk to them a little more so that they know a little more about what it is I'm doing. 

    Anyways, I'm getting off topic. I finally came to my senses and called one of the other music teachers to try to figure out what I was supposed to teach. 

    Boom. 

    He guided me through everything I needed to know in a single conversation and even offered to talk me through it more over coffee. Bless his soul.

    

    The other teachers are also great at getting around district procedures that just take a while by nature. The second week of teaching, my bass clarinet broke. It wasn't that big of a problem so I took it down to the district office where they take care of it for me without anything coming out of my budget (which is awesome). Unfortunately, that fix ended up taking almost three weeks to get resolved. THREE WEEKS. My poor bass clarinetist had to sit through class for almost three weeks playing bass clarinet parts on a soprano. When I told another music teacher about this, he lent me one of his bass clarinets and taught me a faster way of getting things while still paying nothing out of pocket. The student had his instrument back in two days!! 

    Always ask your fellow music teachers. They will be your biggest allies. 

2.    Students are people, and so are you. 

    I think this will be more relatable to any musician.

    My middle school classes are usually at the end of the day so when my students get to me they are already carrying that day's load of drama that has already happened at school. I don't know if any of you remember from middle school, but the drama game is strong and what's happened that day has a huge impact on your mood and pretty much your entire world. It gets really hard at times to read your students' mood from day to day and it gets even harder to predict how they will act the next day. This is a bit problematic when you're trying to conduct a rehearsal and James won't play anymore because Olivia told Austin that he smells bad, and Austin told Alan, who told James about what Austin said about what Olivia said about him. It gets messy and sometimes you might blame yourself for not being able to change the outcome of the situation. The reality of it all, however, is that everybody has their days and that isn't necessarily a reflection of you or your teaching but rather it is just a part of everybody's lives that you can't do anything about. You can't let it get to you and you can't let it affect your teaching no matter how much you might want to get up and yell at your students about it. 

The first month was nice and crazy, but now this is where the real fun begins! My jazz band is starting up and I'm going to have a bunch of performances coming up including the big parade this coming weekend! If you're in the LA Foothills area come check out the Buckboard Days Parade on October 17th on Colima Street in Rowland Heights and if you can't be there check your local news stations because we're apparently going to get some media coverage! 

Choose your own adventure, classical musician edition

After spending my entire life on an academic track, the openness of life after school has been somewhat overwhelming and so filled with options and decisions that I’ve started feeling like I’m living in one of those “choose your own adventure” books that we all grew up loving so much.  The first question that crept in once I decided not to continue going to school had the most possibilities. What do I actually want to do?  I began to weigh combinations of options: 

a.   get a day job and commit fully to taking auditions
b.   move in with my parents and try out the freelance scene in a city I haven’t lived in since I was 18
c.   work on building a private studio
d.   sell my organs and buy an old Italian bass
e.   realize that the desire to live and explore the music scene outside of the good old USA that had growing for the last several years is no longer ignorable

I went with option “e” and was faced with the next difficult questions. Where do I go? and How do I make that happen?  

  

Fortunately for me, I somehow managed to come across a significant other (Kevin, clarinetist) who happened to choose the same option of his own adventure, and we began to tackle the next bunch of questions together. I had traveled a decent amount in the last few years and he had lived abroad for much of his life, so weren’t completely starting from scratch.  And we both had experience teaching in Central and South America already, so we ideally wanted to go somewhere that we could build off of that experience, grow our contacts, and improve our Spanish.  The options for the first question, Where do we go?, changed constantly, but generally consisted of:

a.     win an orchestra job, move there and try it out (I took an audition in Buenos Aires)

b.     use connections in Latin America to help us get set up somewhere south of the border

c.      make new connections in Latin America and find teaching jobs that will support us enough to get set up somewhere new

d.     make use of Kevin’s family home in Thailand where we could live cheaply and try to get set up there short-term while continuing to explore other options

As our childhood selves did often in those “choose your own adventure” books, we tried out an option, realized that they were leading to dead ends for now but could be more fruitful in different circumstances, and we eventually went with option “d” when we found a great deal on flights to Bangkok.   

Answering How do we make this happen? was constantly on my mind as we weighed the options of where we could go, and that split into two more lists of possible adventures to choose.  There was the obvious question of How do I make this financially possible? along with the question that we’re all so familiar with, What do I do about my bass?   The second question was virtually the same no matter where we would end up, so I started working on that fairly early and did my best to imagine the possible outcomes.  

a.     buy a flight case and bring my nearly 200-year-old bass that I love dearly but that doesn’t handle climate changes well

- possible outcome: I get to have my bass, but also face huge airline fees, difficulty moving around, and likely damage to my bass

b.     borrow a bass wherever I go

- possible outcome: don’t have to move a bass but have very little control over what instrument I’m playing (especially difficult because I’m very small and possibly going to areas where there is not a big classical music scene)

c.      get a travel bass or convert the Chinese bass (a “Christopher”) I played in high school to have a removable neck and buy a removable neck flight case

possible outcome: play on a decent student level bass and face some difficulty moving around but less than with a standard flight case

This was an extremely difficult decision, but after weighing costs and risk factors for my instrument, I went with option “c,” which seemed like the lesser of the evils.  For a travel bass, I began contacting instrument companies and asking if they would be willing to sponsor the volunteer work that I’ve been doing with MusAid by lending me a bass or giving me a discount (I hate doing things like that, but you never know what can happen until you ask!) and though most did not respond at all or told me a polite “no way,” Concord Group, the maker of Christopher basses, offered me a great deal on a removable neck flight case and even donated some strings to MusAid in the process.  (Thank you Concord!)

In the meantime, I took my bass to Shanks Strings to have the neck removed (for bass-needs, I put all my trust in Mike Shank, and no he doesn’t know I’m writing this), and while I would never have my nice old bass converted, I'm amazed at easy it is to take apart and put back together, and my little Chinese factory bass actually sounds better than it did before!  

Now that I have been in Thailand for over a week, I already feel that this was the best choice I could have made regarding my bass.  As much as I miss my instrument, I don’t need that bass in order to practice and progress with new repertoire.  And moving through the airport, getting a cab, and putting the bass on the train was much easier and less expensive than traveling with a flight case.  You know the moment when the people at the airline baggage check realize that you want to fly with your case and that you’re coming to their airline and they get a look of horror on their face that says “oh shit, you’re going to make me deal with that?”  That didn’t happen with the smaller case.  At most there were grumpy cab drivers, but no looks of horror or refusals came my way.  And it cost a measly $4.40 to pay to store my bass in the cargo section of a train to get from Bangkok to Chiang Mai once I was already in Thailand! 

As far as making this time productive and financially possible, we’ve been in Chiang Mai for a few days now (Thailand is amazing by the way, but I’ve already been writing too much), and we’re working on figuring that out.  We’re currently:

- applying for jobs teaching English in order to cover our living costs

Wat Pho in Bangkok

- trying to get private students 

- working on putting some performing repertoire together (because clarinet-bass duo is the combo the world has been waiting for!) in hopes that we can start gigging.  

- trying to meet some locals, particularly musicians

- working on personal projects such as arrangements and non-profit work

- practicing

Now that we've chosen our current adventure, we're starting to discover what the outcomes will be.  And though it's still very up in the air, I would rather be trying new things in a new place than remaining stagnant.  So if you have a strong desire to travel or try things out off the beaten path, start looking into your options now!  Even if it isn’t now, you can find a time that’s right and take the plunge.  

I’ll post more soon about life in Chiang Mai!  In the meantime, please share your thoughts and stories (or horror stories) about traveling with a bass.  I know we all have them! 

Chiang Mai

Side note - we flew out of NY, so I got to see Ivy play Heldenleben
with the NY Phil!  That girl's amazing!